A glimpse into the book, Permission to Win

What if you were to decide today that tomorrow would be January 1^st?  With this type of thinking, you’ll renew the excitement of starting new, resolving to do better with the thought that everything happening before December 31^st was in the past.

That is one of the main themes throughout Ray Pelletier’s book, Permission to Win.   He believes this is possible by having a balanced “Circle of Life.”  This circle is made up of the following areas where you should give yourself permission to win: goals, attitude, education, family, professional life, community/charity, finance, spiritual, leisure and physical fitness.

Pelletier urges his readers to determine their mission, or purpose in life. By having a concrete, written mission, you’ll be able to set goals and visualize a game plan for achieving those goals.  With passion and commitment, you can visualize your goals as branches of a tree with your goal being at the very top. I think too often we don’t make our goals concrete, instead, flying by the seat of our pants and changing what our missions might be. I liked his idea of writing the goal down and visualizing how it can be achieved.

His second component in the Circle of Life, is attitude.  He stated that negativity has a huge impact on a person’s subconscious and conscious minds.  By surrounding ourselves with positive influences and people who believe in the importance of a positive attitude, we will look at failure as an opportunity for success and will be able to reprogram the negative thoughts in our mind.

I’m a firm believer in Pelletier’s third component, the belief that learning makes everything possible. When you decide that education, whether formal or informal, is important, you will always be eager to learn new things. By doing this, you will make yourself more valuable as an employee.  You will learn that knowledge is power and you will be able to see and appreciate the potential you have.

Next, Pelletier reminds readers about the importance of communication.  Think before you speak, learn to express yourself and observe how you and others communicate with body language, which are all important characteristics of communication.  However, I could have done without his viewpoint that tone and emotion are big factors in communication.  Tone is something that gets me every time when I fail to communicate well, especially with co-workers.  But it’s something that I am working on, after all, every failure is an opportunity to do better!

Finally, balancing a healthy family life by providing those around you with unconditional love and respect is an essential aspect of contributing to a positive life at home.  Too many times in relationships, people have a December 31^st attitude rather than a January 1^st attitude, bringing along baggage from the past.

I’m going to finish today’s blog with a summary of his first five components of the Circle of Life and continue Pelletier’s thoughts again in tomorrow’s blog.  

Pellietier uses his book to encourage his readers to concentrate on creating a mission, or purpose in life, with goals.  By allowing yourself the permission to win, you can have a healthy attitude, good, positive communication skills and a well balanced home life.

What a great thought, to be able to look at each day as though you have a fresh start. The ability to create the same atmosphere as January 1^st, leaving all the baggage of the past year, all the mistakes we’ve made, behind us. Why not try it... pretend that midnight is just around the corner!

A lesson in "giving back"

I was reminded today of a lesson I learned when I was about 14-years-old. I learned then, the importance of giving back to the community, but it is a lesson I have put on the back burner for the past few years. 

I’d like to extend kudos to Jeannie’s Tavern for hosting a fundraiser today benefitting Hospice of St. Joseph County. Not only did they arrange a fun afternoon at Bowler’s Country Club with about 50 people bowling, but sales from tip boards and 50/50 drawings raised a lot of money for the not-for-profit charity.

Danny and Gary, hosts of the event, have been planning this annual fundraiser for the last 25 years. They don’t do it in hopes that they will be acknowledged by local media or for praise from others, but rather to give back to Hospice for the care they have shown friends and family members throughout the years.

A selfless act that is both impressive and inspiring. I’m inspired because I know that I don’t “give back” to the community as much as I should.

I’ve noticed that throughout the years, I have become more apt to donate money and participate in smokers and fundraisers than donating my time.  I’m not sure there is a right or wrong for charitable giving, I guess both time and money are needed, but for some reason I feel a little guilty for not giving of my time.

I took a walk after the fundraiser today and reflected a little on my past experiences raising money and awareness for various charitable organizations. At the age of 14, my church youth group encouraged us to do some type of community service.  I signed up at LaPorte Hospital and helped the nurses by refilling ice waters and calling bingo numbers during the evening activity hour.  I can’t remember how long I was a volunteer, maybe a year or so.

My junior and senior year of high school the National Honors Society required a certain number of service hours and I completed those by serving as a Big Sister for the Boys and Girls Club, among other things.

Through college I managed to spend a few hours here and there raising money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.  Arranging the yearly “Light the Night” walk and raising several thousand dollars for Team in Training were experiences which have impacted me to this day.

Unfortunately, I haven’t made volunteering a priority in the past few years.  On my walk, I was thinking about how I need to make the commitment to do some volunteer work in the community. 

I have a friend who visits a couple of people at an area nursing home and another friend who works with disabled children by helping them ride horses as a therapeutic exercise. But neither of these things really appeals to me.  So I continued to think about the talents and interests I have and where I might be able to make a difference.

I got home, went online and found a local website called, “Make a Difference Michiana.” It lists all the various ways someone can volunteer or donate money to many different local charities.

This week, I’m going to commit to finding a way to helping others by making a difference in Michiana.

Thanks Jeannie’s for reminding me that giving back to the community, whether it is by arranging a fundraiser or volunteering time, needs to be a priority.  Not only did you raise funds needed for Hospice of St. Joseph County to help others, but you touched the lives of at least 50 people who attended the event today.

Kudos and thanks for making a difference in Michiana.

Paroled bank robber gets 15 more years

South Bend’s finest citizen award goes to William H. Easley, or should I call him, “Black Gold?”

Apparently, Easley was on parole when he decided to rob the 1^st Source in River Park four times over the span of seven weeks last year. 

You might think this professional bank robber raked in a lot of cash during his crime spree, instead he netted a mere $1,829, $836, $3,121 and $879. 

During his robberies, Easley sported a bandana and toted what appeared to his victims as a gun.  In the midst of one of his robberies, he ordered the tellers to the ground, telling them he knew each of them and he would return and kill them if given a dye pack.

Unfortunately, this wasn’t Easley’s first stint as a bank robber. St. Joseph Superior Court Judge John Marnocha sentenced him to 18 years in prison for a 2005 robbery of the Key Bank in Lakeville.

Now, you might be reading this and questioning, as I did, why he was sentenced in 2005 to 18 years and is already back on the street. 

Easley, I’m sure with the help of court appointed attorneys, appealed his conviction protesting that he didn’t rob the bank with a deadly weapon.  Instead, he stated that he used a pellet gun.

I bet if you asked the tellers in Lakeville if they were under the impression that the gun he was using would not harm them, they would be hard pressed to say they didn’t fear for their lives.

Judge Marnocha denied Easley’s request for a reduction in sentence. But thanks to the Department of Corrections, Easley was released because he completed his GED, earned a Bachelor’s Degree and completed his substance abuse treatment.

I’m confused why we have sentencing practices in the United States if they can be so easily overridden. I realize there are criminals who become rehabilitated when incarcerated, but how do some criminals slip through the cracks of the system?

Easley was on parole and committed additional acts of violence, but this wasn’t his first day in court. Instead, this was the fifth time he was sentenced for one or more felonies including attempted murder and several drug charges.

According to the article in the Tribune, Easley has been diagnosed with disassociative identity disorder, claiming he had formed an alter ego named “Black Gold” who likes “the fast life, women and drugs.”

Either way, “Black Gold” or Easley, whomever he decides to be tomorrow, was sentenced this week to an additional 15 years in prison.

As a former ten year credit union employee, who was on staff for four robberies, I can say I am extremely glad that I was never directly involved in a robbery.  But every time that burglar alarm buzzed, my heart beat about 50 times faster and 50 times louder.

Thoughts flooded my head, while trying to be heard over my heart.

“How many are there?”
“Have they left the building?”
“Do I need to hide?”
“Is anyone hurt?”

I feel for the employees of 1^st Source and Key Bank. I feel like the Judicial System has failed them. Had Easley been psychologically evaluated before his release, the tellers at 1^st Source may have never been forced to the ground and threatened.

Thank goodness the Department of Corrections felt as though he was rehabilitated. I hope you have caught my sarcasm. As a student who has obtained a Bachelor’s Degree, and has worked two and three jobs to support myself while paying for my education, I find it disgusting that inmates are able to earn degrees.

I understand that they have a hard time finding employment once they become active members of society again, but why are we rewarding poor behavior with something that many people work very hard to achieve?

Perhaps when Mr. Easley is released in a few years, he will be able to join society with a Master’s Degree, courtesy of the taxpayers of St. Joseph County.

Notre Dame football: Kelly and Floyd reflect on player's arrest, future

Notre Dame Football player Michael Floyd was arrested early Sunday morning by Notre Dame Police as he was driving at the intersection of Holy Cross Drive and Notre Dame Avenue in South Bend. 

Following three failed attempts at a field sobriety test, the 6’ 3” Senior agreed to a breathalyzer, registering .19, more than double the legal .08 limit in Indiana.

Booked into the South Bend County Jail, the wide receiver faces charges of operating while intoxicated, a minimum Class A misdemeanor. 

Floyd, 21, was arrested 13 months ago in Minneapolis, his hometown, for underage drinking.

The initial report on the South Bend Tribune stated these facts, while an update Monday night included comments from both Floyd and second year Notre Dame Head Coach, Brian Kelly.

Kelly’s comments focused mostly on his concern for Floyd’s immaturity and hopes that he will learn from his mistakes. While the decision about Floyd’s future at Notre Dame is ultimately up to the Office of Residence Life, Kelly announced today that Floyd is suspended from team activities indefinitely.

Floyd’s comments, released through the university, included an apology to his teammates, family members, and the community.  An expression of remorse for his actions, Floyd said, "I’ve talked to coach Kelly and I accept the decision he made. I absolutely recognize that I have many things to work on to become a better person and will need to regain the trust of all whom I have hurt within my immediate family and the Notre Dame family. I fully intend to spend the immediate future improving myself to become a better member of our community."

I don’t doubt that Michael Floyd is sorry for his actions, after all, he is human and we all make mistakes.  In fact, I am sure many of us can count a time or two when we have driven when we shouldn’t have. 

As an MVP, star player for the University of Notre Dame, Michael Floyd is a role model to numerous children with dreams of playing college football. Each home game, over 80,000 football fans fill the stadium as the notorious Touchdown Jesus overlooks the field.  The number of fans in the stadium doesn’t even compare to the number watching the Saturday match-ups on television.

I’m sure Michael didn’t intentionally bring his senior year of eligibility to a halt Sunday morning. I’m sure as he was turning into campus, he was enjoying his last few days of spring break and never dreamed that he would be arrested for drinking and driving. I’m sure he never considered the disappointment of the impressionable youth who watched him score 12 touchdowns last year. 

But as the great head coach Lou Holtz has said, “Life is a matter of choices.”  Had Michael learned from his previous incident with the police, he would not be in the position he is currently. 

Unfortunately, he isn’t the only college athlete to make poor decisions.

English Professor Jeff Benedict, Southern Virginia University, has written four books and examined over 1,000 incidents involving the arrests of college and professional athletes. 

Between January 1 and August 31 of 2010, there were 85 publicly reported arrests of college football and basketball players.  It’s a number which more than doubled the number of arrests for professional basketball and football players.

Actions have consequences.  Perhaps Michael Floyd’s poor choices will influence the choices of others around him.  Perhaps his teammates and those who heard about his arrest will realize how a split second decision has consequences that could dictate choices effecting a lifetime.

There are times when I feel like I’m invinsible and I know that throughout my 33 years, I have made poor choices. I also know that every day I learn from the mistakes I’ve made and the mistakes of those around me.

The person I was at the age of 21 is a different person from who I am now. With age comes maturity! While Floyd didn’t realize he had played his last game dressed in the well-respected blue and gold uniform, he more than likely has.  And while I am grateful for his reminder that actions have consequences, I wish him the best. 

I hope that his recent brush with the Notre Dame Police department is his last and that he will recover and have a successful career in the NFL. In the words of Lou Holtz in his book, “Wins, Losses and Lessons, it says, “Hard times will come.  They always do.  But when it happens, remember that deep faith, hard work, and an unwavering commitment to your goals will turn today’s tragedy into tomorrow’s triumphs.”

Messages from the media, texts, and emails, are we just too overloaded?

I live in a society that I believe is inundated with constant emails, texts, facebook messages and media, but somehow I managed to escape the magnitude of the tragedy in Japan last weekend.

Surprisingly enough, I wasn’t the only one. I asked ten people when they started paying attention to all the news coverage of what was happening in Japan and about eight of the ten said Monday morning.

Do our minds get so overloaded that we just zip through whatever messages we don’t think apply to us? Or are we as Americans so self absorbed in our daily lives that we turn our heads to the tragedies in other countries? Perhaps it is a little of both.

It wasn’t until I started thinking about this particular incident that it occurred to me that every day in newspapers around the nation, there are stories about tragedies affecting other countries. I usually skim through the headlines and move onto the local news.  I do this partly because of time, but honestly, I skim through there because I feel like those articles don’t really apply to me.

Technology has allowed us to be so accessible that at times, I want a media blackout. I’d never really thought of this concept until a former co-worker, who works in the journalism field, posted it in her status when she went on vacation. 

Not only do we have constant access to the changing headlines, but we can have text updates and email updates alerting us for just about anything. How much can one person’s brain actually digest? Like I said, I managed to miss just about all coverage on Saturday.  I’m sure it was on the television that was playing when I was at lunch, and I know I glossed over some Facebook entries that referred to “the poor people of Japan.” But I didn’t actually sit down and read about it until I got back to work on Monday.

Are there other people experiencing this same view? Are we so wrapped up in everything in our own lives that we don’t see the necessity of tuning in to see what is happening around us? Or are we just so overloaded that we just can absorb all there is to read and learn? Your thoughts?

Man arrested after South Bend group home fire: Police say argument led to arson

South Bend Tribune              

On Sunday evening at about 9:30p.m., a 32-year-old South Bend man had an argument with his roommate.

The Tribune reported that both men were able to escape the fire without injuries and that today, the 32-year-old man was arrested for arson.

 Jeff Kinder, a service administrator for Partners in Opportunities, was interviewed by the Tribune and said that only the two men lived in the home and that the one man was being relocated.

 I’m disappointed to say, this was all that the article really said.  As a reader, I was left with several questions.  What is Partners in Opportunities? How long have they been in business? Are these types of occurrences normal?

The headline leads me to believe that Partners in Opportunities is a group home. I would have liked the Tribune to have provided a little more background about how the group home works. Was there someone assigned to look after them? How many hours are the residents in these homes allowed to be left unattended?  Who is typically in charge?

I’m sure every case is very different with each adult having varying degrees of mental and physical handicaps. I’m not sure what kinds of residents are able to live in the group home, possibly mentally or physically challenged adults.  I’m sure either the state or the private family pays to have the loved one in assisted living.  But again, who is assisting them?

What would have happened if the men hadn’t been able to get out of the home?  I wonder if the man who started the fire was able to comprehend what it was that he was doing.  Perhaps his mental reasoning skills are lacking, is it right that he is sitting in the Saint Joseph County Jail awaiting formal charges? 

Jeff Kinder spoke about plans to rebuild and to relocate the resident, but there was no mention of where his employee was at the time of the incident. Should someone have been in the home to prevent unpredictable things from happening? What is the policy for overnight care for these individuals?

My biggest frustration after reading this article is that someone else needs to be held accountable for what happened at the group home. The only one arrested in this incident is a 32-year-old man who cannot defend himself. I’m not sure of his IQ, his intent or his comprehension, but to live in an assisted living home, there should have never been a fight that got out of control enough that it led to a fire.

 I’m glad this incident didn’t have a more tragic outcome. But I hope the Tribune does a little more research and anticipate the questions that your readers might ask about a company that let this happen.

I’ve decided to make a commitment to life-long learning

Usually my “Thoughts from the Bend” are a reflection of something I’ve read in the local newspaper, but tonight my thoughts are about my personal life. I’ve decided to pursue a Master’s Degree in Public Affairs and I thought I would share a little insight to what has influenced my decision.

When I applied to the Master of Liberal Studies department in 2006, I thought that obtaining a Master’s Degree would give me the edge I needed to find a new job. I had been the Director of Marketing for AAA Federal Credit since May 12, 1999, the day after I graduated from Indiana University South Bend. But I needed a change, a new challenge, a new career.

                I was fortunate enough in 2008, to interview with the South Bend Medical Foundation. I had applied for the position which was posted for the Manager of Blood Donor Recruitment.  Although it was a position with which I had no experience, I hoped that my creativity and my experience as a blood donor would be enough to get me in the door. After all, I had nothing to lose, but the time it took to send my resume.

                A few short weeks after my interview, I received a call asking me to return for an additional interview. I had hope, something I hadn’t had in awhile. I recalled every interview workshop I had ever attended, every practice interview question I had ever answered. The Senior Vice President of South Bend Medical Foundation walked in and greeted me once again. He told me that he thought the Manager of Blood Donor Recruitment was not a good fit for me, but he was impressed with my resume and wanted to create a new position for me as the Public Relations, Communications Specialist.  After reading the job summary, I decided it looked like a very challenging position and one that my undergraduate degree and previous work experience had prepared me to tackle.  

                My undergraduate degree is in Mass Communications, with a concentration in Journalism and a minor in Graphic Design.  My position at AAA Federal Credit Union had allowed me to use my creativity by creating monthly loan and membership promotions. I had also written several articles for the South Bend Tribune as a freelance writer, all of which helped prepare me for  my tasks at the Foundation which included creating new blood donor promotions and working with various media outlets. 

                I was in the midst of seeking my Master’s Degree when I accepted the position. Now, two months from graduation, I have decided pursue another degree. My two years at South Bend Medical Foundation have introduced me to a whole new atmosphere: health care.  I’ll admit, it’s been a huge challenge.  I am learning about an industry that I’ve never been a part of before. But it’s an industry where I believe I can spend the rest of my career.

                I have at least three decades left in my adult career and I believe that by obtaining a Master’s Degree in Public Affairs, I can further my position at South Bend Medical Foundation by concentrating in Health Systems Management and Policy.

                     As an alumnus of Indiana University, I know the benefits of a continued commitment to life-long learning and am looking forward to this new endeavor.  

Gun falls out of pocket, kills girl: Goshen first-grader fondly remembered

                On Friday, February 25^th, Jay Byler’s life turned completely upside down.

                His seven-year-old daughter, Karlee, was shot in the head and died instantly.

                According to the South Bend Tribune, Karlee and her sister, Brooklyn, had been playing outside of their Goshen home with their mother, Kelly, after school.  Jay got home from work and played briefly with the girls before heading inside to help them out of their winter coats and boots while Kelly made dinner.

                Karlee was waiting for Jay to pull off her boots as he turned to help Brooklyn with her coat.

                Just as he turned, the concealed weapon he had stashed in his pocket, fell to the ground and fired a single shot into Karlee’s head.

                It was an accident no one could have imagined, but is a moment the family will relive for the rest of their lives. The parents no longer have their daughter and Brooklyn no longer has her sister.

                Unfortunately, this tragic moment isn’t an isolated incident.  Many of these guns are owned by loving adults who feel owning a gun will help protect their family members; however, over 500 children die in gun related accidents each year in the United States.

                So where do we draw the line between trying to protect our family and risking the possibility of a horrible accident occurring?

                After all, Jay was trying to be responsible for his weapon when he took it from his empty vehicle to secure it in his house. Had Jay repeated his movements fifty more times, chances are the gun would have not fallen and triggered like it did that evening.

                At one point in time, Indiana ranked second in the nation for gun permits possessed per 1,000 adults with over 300,000 permits issued.  After all, Indiana is a “shall issue” state, which means that following the completion of an application, short background check and payment of fees, a permit is granted.

                Would tougher gun laws have helped keep Karlee safe?  Probably not, but it might have helped a few of the other children who died in gun accidents.

                I’ve never owned a gun, nor do I think I’d like to. The only reason I would purchase a gun is to protect myself.  But when I think about circumstances where I might need a gun, I don’t think I would actually be able to make the decision to pull the trigger and take someone else’s life.  So there isn’t much reason for me to own a gun.

                But I do worry about the households where adults have kids and guns in the house.  Kids are curious and parents aren’t always 100% on top of things, and as seen in this article, accidents happen.

                I’m sad for Jay and his family.  I can’t imagine the loss they must be feeling and I hope that other gun owners will think about whether they are really “protecting” themselves and their loved ones by carrying a weapon.