Bring back thought when gift giving...

 

It strikes me as a bit ironic that I launched a business offering people ideas and options for buying gifts for themselves and others. Mostly because as I have aged, I have become somewhat cynical about gift giving.  It seems to me that the obligatory gift giving holidays cause people panic attacks and spending funds that sometimes they don’t have. 

Gift giving has become an exchange of gift cards, gift registers for weddings and babies and a 

scorecard of you got me something, now what can I find for you since I wasn’t planning on getting

 anything for you. 

But the more I am in my workshop and the more gifts I make, I am finding joy in giving again and 

actually am back on board with the thought that it is better to give than to receive. 

I think the difference is that I am making gifts that remind me of others or that are personalized 

for them. For example, my co-worker Dani had accepted a job with Notre Dame and left JA.  

I made her a little decoration for her office that was a gnome with a gold and blue hat and on the 

t-shirt it said “Notre Dame Alumni Association” and also had her name. Another co-worker left to 

pursue her entrepreneurial interests in Religion so I made her a cross out of Purpleheart with a 

Bible verse. I was excited to give each of those gifts. There can be high turnover where I’m at and 

the pic attached to this blog was made for my friend Dawn, who truly was the computer guru. 

Gift giving is hard. But I think I can help with that.  At Gifts from the Bend, I am able to 

help customers brainstorm about personalized gifts. Do you have an upcoming baby shower? 

Let’s think about what theme the nursery has and make a wooden gift with the baby’s name or 

words from a lullaby that the parents like. 

I’m excited to be able to offer customized, personalized gifts for others to give. Hopefully we can 

bring back the thought to gifts and not just exchange gift cards and registries. Visit  

www.giftsfromthebend.com or @giftsfromthebend on facebook to view items for sale. If you have 

questions or ideas about gifts please reach out to me at colleenhahn574@gmail.com or call 

574-252-6056.

I’m interested in hearing your thoughts about gift giving, how it’s changed over time, if you have joy 

in giving or if it has become a chore. 

Nursing Home Care During a Pandemic: Quality v Quantity?

 

Until recently, I never would have imagined comparing nursing homes with prisons, but during the pandemic, I find myself doing just that.

My grandmother turned 94-years-old in December.  She’s seen a lot in her lifetime and so has her 96-year-old husband. Until November 16^th, they lived at home with assistance with groceries and a little other help from family.  Overall, they were very independent. 

But that Monday, she fell and broke her hip.  She was transported by ambulance to the local hospital.  That’s the last day she was hugged.  The last day anyone from her family was close to her. It’s been 54 days.

I’m sure she was scared that night.  In the hospital by herself with doctors and nurses asking numerous questions, not to mention the pain she must have been in.  Due to COVID-19, family members were not allowed in with her to ease her nerves, help answer questions or just hold her hand and reassure her that everything would be ok.

She was transported to another hospital that night and surgery followed the next day. All of this was communicated to her family via phone and explanations from nurses and doctors. She remained in the hospital for four days.  Our family was given three options of nursing homes and we had about two hours to decide where she would go for rehab. 

No tours, no time decide, just three places we weren’t familiar with to take care of our elderly family member.  We picked one based on photos on the internet and their COVID positivity rate, which was zero at the time.

Window visits and phone calls turned into reality.  Things I had seen on TV since March, but never thought I would have to experience personally.  After all, we’d been careful with our loved ones. They’d stayed in the house for months – no trips for ice cream, no visits with extended family or friends, we did our best to keep them safe, to keep COVID-19 away from them.

Phone calls broke our hearts. She pleaded on the phone, wanting us to understand that the care she was getting wasn’t good. “I’ve never been treated so poorly in all my life,” is a phrase that I’ll remember forever. But what could we do? Was she just frustrated being there? Was the care poor? It doesn’t really matter, her perception was her reality.

No one in my family is a therapist, no one could help her rehab and get better, good enough to return home. That’s doesn’t even take into consideration nursing, etc. We felt she needed to stay there.

There’s no larger helpless feeling than to rely on people you have never met to take care of your loved one. Faith, trust… these are words I use to describe very few in my life and that’s after years of knowing them! 

Roughly 9 days later, we got a call that she fell in the night and broke her shoulder. Suddenly, this strong, independent woman had a broken hip and a broken shoulder. What more could she endure? We quickly found out. COVID-19 Positive. 

While I stayed home on Thanksgiving and didn’t see family, it seems as though a staff member at the nursing home, didn’t do the same. All of the sudden patients and staff were testing positive at an alarming rate. Those 8 months we kept her safe from COVID, suddenly didn’t matter.

We couldn’t comfort her. We could only call. For her 130ish pound frame, a broken hip, a broken shoulder and now COVID… no one to comfort her. There were window visits, which we did, but sometimes blinds were closed, sometimes the phone was too far from her.

She’s a bit better now. I can’t believe she survived, to be honest. She shares her room with a roommate, she’s been moved to four different rooms. I’m not sure if she ever finds out their names. It reminds me of prison. She was quarantined 14 days when she got there and tested positive the day she would have moved to “gen pop.”

Roughly a month in a room with the door closed. A TV in a space that is roughly the size of a prison cell.  Nursing homes and prisons are the only ones who don’t allow visitors during COVID. Our elderly didn’t break the law.

I realize the intent is to “keep them safe.” However, what kind of damage is this causing their quality of life? I’m pretty sure at 94, she doesn’t care about quantity anymore.

She’s supposed to get the vaccine on February 5^th. If she was at home she could have gone next week for it. So I’m not sure she’s getting any advantage where she is currently.  Then what? Will she be granted visitation? Those with vaccines can come in? Still no one? We haven’t been told.

I realize that nurses and staff at nursing homes are overworked. With 48 cases in the past 3 weeks in the nursing home and other staff members positive, I know they are working a skeleton crew. But that doesn’t matter to me. Because we are talking about MY loved one. I want only the best for her and I know she isn’t getting it.

How can we do better? Because we need to do better.  Families are not equip to take care of those who need skilled nursing care. Nursing homes range in price but are roughly $7.000 to $8,000 or more a month when paid for privately. She’s not getting that type of care. For that amount, I want web cams so I can at least see if she is sleeping or eating.

Hugs, time to chat, help with cutting up food, asking what foods she likes, THAT is care. Care my family would give if we were able to visit. Let’s lift the ban and allow nursing home residents to be cared for.

I truly believe we are failing them. Let’s go for quality and not quantity.

Weekend thoughts from the Bend

I haven’t experienced people looking at me differently or fearing me because of my race.

I think back to my teen years and what I remember is growing up in a predominately white community with about eight African Americans in a high school of about 2,000.  That was nearly 25 years ago.  I had an acquaintance in high school named Aaron, he seemed like a great guy, we joked about stuff in class, but never had any serious conversations about race or prejudice. We were just two classmates.

During my freshman year of college in Bloomington,  I made friends with some other people from small towns and we bonded quickly with a girl named Jada on our floor.  Jada was black and we were white.  Jada was from a larger town, we were all from small towns.  We might have been a bit young and a bit dumb, but I think we all learned a lot from each other. 

We were open.  We asked questions.  Do you want to be referred to as African American? How come some people are offended if we call them black? How come you don’t wash your hair every day? They seemed like simple questions. We asked questions of her, she asked questions of us.  We learned.

After a year and a half in Bloomington I transferred to IUSB, but it wasn’t until several years later that I noticed a shift in my thinking once again. 

The day after graduation, I started at a local credit union on the west side of South Bend. I didn’t know anyone. The first few days, I was really cognizant that nearly everyone who walked through the door didn’t share the same skin color as I did.  I wasn’t scared. It was just an observation. It reminded me of conversations I had with Jada.

Two years later I moved to the west side of South Bend. I thought I never would.  Even 17 years ago they had more homicides than LaPorte and I wasn’t sure I wanted to live in a town that was so unsafe. But I don’t feel unsafe.  However, I have noticed some things.

I notice people don’t ask questions. I live in a very mixed neighborhood.  I love my neighbors and I wouldn’t want them to change.  We look out for each other, exchange pleasantries, and I think genuinely care about each other. I hope that they feel they can depend on me and that our lines of communication are open.  I think we can learn from each other.

Last week there was an officer involved shooting in our city where a white police officer shot a black man.  Since then, there has been an unrest and racial tension. I wish I had the answer to make everything better. I wish that people could have conversations that would make them understand and appreciate one another. Would that be enough?

How does our city go about repairing the hurt in our community? How do we continue to trust local law enforcement that should be keeping us safe? How can we as a community each take responsibility to make a change? Please share your thoughts…

Homeless, Lime Bikes and Tents...Oh My....

I like to work out in the community as much as possible. It gives me a chance to see my fellow volunteers and appreciate the community in which I live. 

I believe that the current administration has done a lot for the City of South Bend.  The downtown area has a new feel to it.  It’s lively and people are constantly walking around to meetings, the coffee shops or the various downtown restaurants.  South Bend is a community of just over 100,000 residents, but if you hang out enough downtown, you are sure to see a few familiar faces.

Lately, I haven’t enjoyed working downtown at all.  I’ve noticed a real increase in the number of mentally ill people and homeless.  While they know their limits as far as going into establishments and panhandling, it doesn’t stop them at businesses with outdoor seating.

I’m sure I will receive mixed feedback on this blog.  I have to admit, I have mixed feelings about the whole issue.  Back when I was in 7^th grade I remember seeing homeless people in Chicago and I would give them money and feel bad for them and the fact that they didn’t have money, a home or food to eat.

I guess somewhere during the time I was 13 and now, I’ve lost some compassion. Because now, I’m just highly annoyed.  Over the past few days, I’ve been sitting outside a downtown coffee shop, drinking the beverage I paid for, and have not been able to be at peace while working. 

Instead, I’ve had people come up and beg for money.  I’ve had a homeless person practically spit in my face as he talked so incoherently I couldn’t understand a word he said. I watched other patrons get up and leave because they were uncomfortable as he approached them. 

Today, one guy would not leave me alone to work so I got up and left.  I walked about a block down to work from another establishment, which happened to be hindered by the same problem, different people. Again, I was not the only one who was uncomfortable. 

Public parks and outdoor spaces, which have been developed largely for those who live and work in South Bend, seem to be unsafe.

About a month ago, the Lime Bikes made a debut in the Bend, as well.  What a cool idea for those in the city to be able to use the bikes for a minimal fee.  They lined certain areas downtown, in parks and along the Riverwalk.  How cool.  Oh wait, some people are playing by the rules while other people seem to find bikes that people forgot to lock or they’ve made their own adjustments to them and are riding along for free. 

There is a well-known mentally ill homeless man on the West side of South Bend and I saw him riding down the street on a Lime Bike.  I have to admit the look on his face was priceless.  It was pure joy, like watching a young child ride a bike for the first time.  But it’s not how the bikes are intended to be used.

Maybe I need more education on the subject. I know that we have the Homeless Center in South Bend and I have been a supporter of the organization in the past.  I commend them for feeding those who live there and trying to help them get on their feet.  But during the day, they need to leave the shelter and look for jobs.  Is downtown loitering where they end up?

I also have questions about the tent city that popped up under the bridge last year.  Now, I may have my facts wrong on this because I caught a bit here and there on the news, but maybe didn’t get the whole story.  The people in the tents were there and not in the Homeless Shelter because they had addiction issues and were not sober enough to be at the shelter. Correct?

So I think Mayor Pete and his administration made arrangements for these people to live in alternative housing.  I have an issue with this. People make choices every day.  They work or they don’t work.  They pay bills or they don’t pay bills. If they are choosing to drink or do drugs, which inhibits them from staying at the Homeless Shelter, why are we allowing them to live in alternative housing?

I obviously don’t have all the facts and I don’t have all the solutions either.  All I know, is that South Bend as a whole is trying to be a fun, safe place to live. But some things need to be done to make out community feel safer.  Does anyone else share my feelings? Or can anyone shed light on any of the topics listed above? I feel like there needs to be a better balance...

Awesome motivational speakers visit Michiana

Well Michiana, if you were one of the lucky ones sitting in the Century Center this morning listening to the speakers at the Lead Michiana conference, you are probably thinking about work and life a little differently this afternoon.

I consider myself very lucky to have been able to attend the conference this morning, because I got to hear several great speakers including Darren Hardy and Les Brown.  These are motivational speakers who travel all over inspiring professionals to be great and they were right here speaking in Michiana. How exciting is that!?!?

Justin Maust, host and founder of Lead Michiana, is an inspirational speaker and trainer, team-builder and coach in the area. Many of you may be familiar with his company, Leader Legacy, or his involvement with 5Star.  I believe one of his goals today was to get across the message that, “Greatness isn’t born. It’s grown.” And I think there was a lot of growth within the approximately 1,000+ attendees.

Several years ago, I read the book, “The Compound Effect,” by Darren Hardy.  It was a great book that made me think about how making small changes over time can have a great impact.  It was shortly before that or shortly after that I began subscribing to the magazine, “Success.”  It’s a monthly magazine that was brought back to life by Hardy, with inspiring messages about entrepreneurs and tidbits and reminders of how we can improve ourselves.   I highly recommend it. 

He was one of the speakers today.  His words and messages did a great job of keeping my interest for the time that he was up on stage, encouraging listeners to become, “stunningly successful SuperAchievers.” This can be done by finding the kryptonite that threatens our productive futures. Basically, what hinders our productivity? These are mainly distractions including friends stopping by, emails chiming in, phones ringing, etc.

He encouraged us to be world-class at a few things instead of mediocre at many and gave us some suggestions on how to accomplish that task. Did you know that for every distraction we have, it takes us about 23 minutes to get refocused? For those of you who attended, I’m sure you have come to appreciate the new thought of sprint/ recovery!

Les Brown’s message came with moments of contagious laughter; and I couldn’t help but smile when he laughed! He’s one of a kind. His style of mentoring comes in the form of stories, some with a bit of mixed in religion. His message can be wrapped in to two words that when I hear the name Les Brown, I’ll automatically think, “It’s possible.”  After all, born in an abandoned building in Miami and growing up in poverty, he’s decided to create his success instead of blaming his circumstances.

But one of the things that will probably always stick in mind and one that I will probably share with students I work with from now on, is this phrase, “someone’s opinion of you does not have to be your reality.” Wow, what powerful words.  How often do we give others the power to allow their opinions to become our beliefs?

It’s possible to live your dream. It’s a simple message from a man who touched many today.

If you didn’t get the chance to attend the 2^nd Lead Michiana event, you won’t want to miss it next year. After all, how many leaders in Michiana like Justin Maust have the vision to bring these great influential people to the area?

April is Financial Literacy Month...where did you learn to be financially savvy?

Have you ever made a poor financial decision? Do you wish that at some times in your life you had more guidance on the fundamentals of financial literacy?

Well, I can say yes to both of those questions, but for the most part, I’d say overall I’ve been rather lucky as far as my financial upbringing.

As a child, my parents gave me an allowance for completing assigned chores.  My brother and I were taught to save up for items that we wanted, but we were also given the occasional toy if we were out shopping with our parents. 

When I was in high school, I worked several nights a week at LaPorte Hospital in the kitchen, delivering trays to patients and scrubbing pots and pans, along with patient trays.  Glamourous work? I’d say not… but it did teach me great work ethic, teamwork and probably most importantly, how to manage money.

My parents were very generous and paid for my car insurance and gas as long as the car was used to get to work and to school.  My part of the bargain was that I agreed to save at least 60% of each paycheck and I could spend 40% for going out with friends, etc. It seemed very fair and by the time I was ready to start college, I had a pretty good amount saved up.  I was proud of the money I had saved.

Not all kids have parents who teach their children about saving money and budgeting for needs and wants. Not all parents were ever taught how to succeed at this, themselves!

The month of April is Financial Literacy month and it really got me thinking about what that means, especially since I accepted the position as Program Manager at Junior Achievement.  My goal will always be to help students learn about financial literacy, entrepreneurship and job readiness.  I feel as though we owe that to each student in the area.

As the JA Program Manager for St. Joseph and Marshall Counties, I recruit volunteers to enter the classrooms in these counties and teach curriculum that has been developed to help students learn how to save money, how to determine the different between wants and needs, how to start a business and how to know which career is something he or she might be interested, among other things.

It’s been an eye opening experience for me and a very rewarding one, as well. Thanks for taking the time to read my thoughts and please consider how you can impact someone else’s life as far as financial literacy is concerned. A little bit of your time volunteering or a few dollars donated for classes in this area can mean a lot to students who might not otherwise be introduced to this type of learning.

If nothing else, think about your own financial well-being and how you can make well informed decisions! Happy Financial Literacy month… for a few more days J Let's make sure that students today learn how to become financially savvy tomorrow!

Today marks a day of change!

A few years ago I began reading Success magazine and the writings of Jim Rohn, DenisWaitley, Brendon Burchard and others.

When I read their thoughts, it became clearer to me that I was just floating through life.  I decided that I needed to change some things in my personal life and I lost some weight and started exercising each day.  I started my 50 state, 50 half marathon by age 50 walking challenge and made small changes that have made differences over time. After about two years, I felt back in control of my personal life and felt good about the goals I was working on.  These continue to be things I work on today.

Once I got my personal goals established, I realized I was floating through my work life.  The passion I once had for my job just wasn’t there anymore and I realized that I just wasn’t being my best self. The motivated, happy person I had been when I accepted my position at the Foundation had disappeared and I no longer felt like I was doing my job the way I once had.  So, I decided it was time to work on my work life. After all, I spend more time at work than almost anywhere else. The only thing that beats the amount of hours spent at work is time spent sleeping!

I sat down and really thought about what type of job I wanted to get.  What could I be passionate about?  There were several questions I asked myself and I came up with the following list of things that I’d like in my next job:

1) It has to have something to do with building relationships or partnerships

2) I’d like to work with kids if possible  (For the last four years, I have been volunteering at Wilson Primary Center in South Bend for Boys & Girls Club.  I work with students from K-4 every Tuesday and it’s been a blast.  They are quite often the highlight of my week.)

3) It has to have some fun

4) It has to make a difference in the lives of others

So I started looking for jobs that I believed were a good fit for me and I’m happy to say that Junior Achievement is just that.  I will be working primarily in St. Joseph and Marshall Counties recruiting volunteers to work with students and teach them about entrepreneurship and economics. I’ll be doing some training and some actual classroom work and I am really psyched about this new challenge.

Today marks my last day of employment at The Medical Foundation. I’m thankful for the last seven years there and all the things that I have learned. Most importantly, I’m thankful for all my co-workers (yes, all!) because I have learned something from all of them during my seven year journey there.

So as I begin another chapter in my life, I am looking forward to the changes that are about to happen, but I won’t forget the people and experiences that have brought me to this point. Thanks ya’ll, it’s been an awesome ride J and I’m sure many of us will keep in touch!