A little less weight on my shoulders!

I’ve pretty much struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember.  When I was younger I was active and involved in Softball, Volleyball, Basketball and water sports, but I still tipped the scale at the higher levels. As I have gotten older, I have tried everything to wishing away the extra pounds, to trying the latest a greatest fat burner pills, Weight Watchers, Atkins, Slim Fast, and I even think I did the Cabbage diet for a few days.  Of course I’d lose a few pounds here and a few pounds there and I even lost 20 pounds around 2000.

I’m a social person and I love to spend time with my friends, which usually means drinks after work or going out to lunch of dinner. Fun times! However, those fun times usually happened about five times a week and after awhile, the scale showed just how fun I’d become!

Last year, on July 7^th, I’d had enough. I was tired of looking in my closets (I have three) and finding a handful of clothes that actually fit.  I got tired of looking in the mirror and feeling like I had become out of control.  And most of all, for those of you who know me well, I was at the point where I didn’t like having ANY pictures of me taken, not even stranger pictures. How does that happen!?!?! It seems like it happened overnight. Like I didn’t notice the scale creeping up and out of control, but it wasn’t overnight, it was several years of poor choices.

This past year I’ve lost 35 pounds and I feel good.  I’m more active, I’m making better choices and I still have a lot of fun, just more controlled fun! I no longer look in the closets and can’t find clothes to wear, when someone brings a camera I don’t disappear. But it hasn’t been easy.

I’m sure I’m not alone in this weight loss struggle, yet at the time that I started to care about losing weight, I didn’t want anyone to know. I remember thinking that if I told my friends I was trying to lose weight, they’d criticize everything I brought for lunch or my drink choices if I went out.  So I kept it on the down low. Don’t get me wrong, my friends are great and are very supportive, it was more my issue than theirs! I’d tried to lose so many times that even I wasn’t sure how this time would be different. 

I had success with Weight Watchers in 2000, but I had joined online several times in the last few years and I even went to meetings a few times here and there. I would join for a few weeks and get discouraged and then stop. I’d join online and something came up after work and I’d decide, “I’ll really start tomorrow, instead of today.” I was full of excuses. After all, if I wished hard enough to be thin, wouldn’t that be enough? Hmmm…..

I’m not sure why July 7^th was different, but I walked in Weight Watchers and even told the lady that I had tried this several times and I wasn’t sure why I thought this time would be any different, but I wanted to sign up anyway.

It was the next week that I drove to Hilltop Lutheran Church on a Wednesday night and attended the meeting by myself. I remember pulling into the parking lot and sitting for several minutes giving myself a pep talk and then walking in. I liked the meeting and the leader and the people were nice so I decided to try it again the next week.

It was funny because my work friends would ask me to go for drinks on Wednesdays and I could never go.  I said I had something to do, I even told one friend I had an AA meeting. I think I thought it was easier for people to think that I was a drunk instead of someone who just couldn’t control my eating. So until this blog, only a handful of people and my Wednesday night friends, were the only people who knew I’d gone to Weight Watchers.

I can say it’s the best decision that I made and I’ll probably be attending meetings for many weeks, if not years ahead. They’re a supportive, non-judgmental group and I owe a lot of my success to them and am appreciative for the empowerment I feel in their presence.

Baby steps lead to lifestyle changes. It hasn’t been an easy year, but I feel like I have the tools to be successful and stay on track. I know I’m not alone in this journey, even though at the beginning I wanted to be! Nearly 365 days strong and counting…. Wishing everyone else in this journey of weight loss the empowerment to make good decisions and the will to sweat!!!