Monday, November 24, 2014

The Pamster...




34 houses and apartments, 42 vehicles, and 29 couches. You might be wondering what those numbers signify. Those numbers signify change, something Pam Russell didn’t mind.  Most of us resist, back away and struggle to accept change, fighting it every step of the way. But that wasn’t the Pamster.  She loved change. (ok those numbers might be a little high!!! :))

Pamster’s passing is a big change for us, the ones she left behind. And how we choose to handle that change as we move forward is something each of us has to work on. I remember when she was first diagnosed with cancer and after our family knew, she posted something on facebook about it at the end of January 2010.  She wrote that the cancerman had gotten her, but she thought it would be ok. She was ready to beat it. The Pamster truly was a trooper, not only with her dealings with cancer, but also her other numerous procedures including her beloved Twila and Trudy Titanium… which is what she referred to her knee replacements.

She continued her treatments with optimism and humor, often referring to her breast cancer as taking Mavis and Martha, the “mamms” away.  She went through surgeries, several rounds of chemotherapy and several bouts of radiation.  Throughout the last 4 years, the Pamster fought hard against the cancerman, but it was a battle she just wasn’t able to overcome.  

On Friday, she lost her battle with cancer, leaving behind her three daughters, Tearsa, Katie and Beth, and their families, Rob, Jack and Ella, Matt, Joey and Lauren.  If you’ve ever been around the Pamster, you know that she loved her grandkids very much, always wanting smooches from the kids. I remember walking into her house one afternoon and there was a tent in the living room. It seemed a little odd to me, but it was nothing of the sort to her, she was simply getting ready for camping out with Jack and Ella. I believe they had plans to roast marshmallows over the stove and tell stories before bed.

A few summers ago, I stopped by at lunch time and she was outside in the pool, measuring cups all over the deck, because of course Joey and Lauren were coming to swim and they loved to pour water from the pool into the buckets.

It’s these stories that we’ll have to do our best to keep alive, because if there is one thing that’s for sure, it was that Pam loved her kids and her grandkids.

Tearsa, when I think of you, I think of the strength that your mom represents.  As you continue to get your principal’s license, it reminds me of the work your mom did while raising the three of you.  She attended school to become a teacher, and I am sure it was hard to balance school and home, but she did it.  Your mom had several students whom she formed special relationships with, because she knew that those kids needed someone to believe in them.  For those of you who don’t know, Pamster was an alternative education teacher at Penn High School for many years. She saw potential in her students and encouraged them to succeed, something you do with your students, Tearsa.

Katie, your initiative to return to school was something that made the Pamster very happy.  I think she saw a lot of herself in you.  She thought your studies in New York were fabulous. And while you don’t knit or sew, your creative side is a lot like your mothers. Your knack for making jewelry and for seeing things with a creative eye, very much comes from your mother.

Beth, what I remember most about you growing up, was the Kingsbury house.  I’m not sure exactly how old you were when you lived there, but I’m thinking you were around 6th grade.  You were so tall and we used to watch out the window as you flipped around doing gymnastics in the front yard for hours. Your mom, your sisters and I were amazed at your determination.  No one could tell you that you couldn’t something, you were out to prove them wrong! You were a huge support to your mom during the last few years, and if you didn’t already know it, your phone calls made her day. She loved your goofy stories or just your quick recaps of the day.

The Pamster always called me “Weensie” and at times it would embarrass me to be out in public with her yelling across the aisle, “Weensie, look at this…” It makes me a little sad today to think that won’t happen again.

As the holidays draw closer, it’s another change our family will face. But we’ve got a strong, close knit family and I know that although it’ll be different, we’ll embrace this change like the Pamster would.

I prefer to think of her today in Heaven with my Grandpa and my Nana and all the others who were welcoming her on Friday. And while we will all miss her here, I take comfort in knowing that she is no longer in the pain she has been.  And I know that I have another caring angel on my side…

Rest in Peace, Pamster…

Sunday, November 2, 2014

Changes in technology...changes in relationships?


My thoughts strayed far from the Bend this week as I cruised to several Caribbean Islands aboard the Celebrity Summit.

I traveled with my mom, Theresa, and we had a great time.  This was our fifth cruise together and I really like to travel with her, we had a lot of fun girl time.

On the way home, I couldn’t help but reflect on our vacations and flash back a little to my adolescent years. At the age of 15, if you would have told me that 22 years later I would choose to vacation with my mother, I would have told you that just wouldn’t happen! Yet, 22-years later, that 15-year-old who used to look at her mother with squinty eyes and an attitude, was having a few cocktails and laughing so hard with her that I had tears streaming down my face.

I’m fortunate to be able to see both of my parents just about every weekend during the warmer seasons in Indiana.  They live on a lake and I like the sun! And of course time at “The Haven Resort” is a lot of fun with other relatives nearby. 

While a short 30 minute drive to LaPorte makes a difference in how often I see my parents, I couldn’t help but think about how technology has changed the way relationships are today.

When I was in college, bag phones were the only cell phones that were somewhat affordable and each call cost a minimum of something like 25 cents a minute.

Long distance was still the way you made out-of-town calls and picking up the phone was something most of us did rather sparingly. I’m starting to feel old as I write this!

Now, with e-mail at the fingertips or most, Skype loaded on tons of computers and cell phones with practically unlimited plans for texting and talking, it’s so easy to pick up the phone and stay in constant contact with friends and family.

I talk to my mom nearly every day and it makes the time she spends in Florida seem almost as if she was just in LaPorte.  It’s nice to keep up with day-to-day happenings and I think it would be weird to go back to the times where long amounts of time went between our calls.

It makes me wonder what they will come up with for future generations… technology gotta love it!