Justice for Tramelle

I’ve had a little 10-year-old on my mind all day. I can’t seem to get him out of my mind.

Last November, 10-year-old Tramelle Sturgis died from beating he sustained, allegedly at the hands of his father, Terry Sturgis.

When I think about the Terry Sturgis murder trial, I think about his home on the 1100 block of West Washington Street in South Bend, and I am reminded of the old saying, “if these walls could talk.”

I guess it is probably a good thing they can’t. I am sure the abuse his children faced in that home is more than I could ever imagine.

When Tramelle was transported to the emergency room that evening, he had bruises, scrapes, hemorrhaging on the brain, a broken arm, a broken tailbone and a broken rib. What could a ten-year-old little boy possibly have done for the elder Sturgis to believe it was ok to hurt him like this?

Unfortunately it wasn’t just Tramelle who suffered beatings, but his brother, as well. His older brother, age 14, spoke this week in court about the night that Tramelle died. The South Bend Tribune quoted some of his testimony and said that he was beaten with a stick the night of Tramelle’s death.  He said, “I just got dizzy and could not see because the blood was in my eyes.”

The boy said that he wanted to deflect his father’s attention hoping the beating would stop, so he told on Tramelle for taking a bottle of his father’s water. It worked, Sturgis took his aggressions out on Tramelle. That night, Tramelle Sturgis died because he drank a bottle of water that belonged to his father.

How sad is that? Many parents would be thrilled to share water with a child. Not him.

I’ve often thought that people should have to prove they are worthy to be parents before they are actually allowed to procreate. There are too many parents who neglect children and too many others who would be willing and able to provide loving homes where those children could thrive.

In this case, I have to wonder why any mother would allow her children to live with Terry.  In this case, the mother is Tiffany Townsend. She said that Terry never laid a hand on her, but that she didn’t think it was a good environment for her five children, four of which were Terry’s, because they argued too much and he called her names. Wow, I think that might have been her first clue that he wasn’t necessarily a stellar father. But then again, she doesn’t qualify for mother of the year.

I also have to wonder how Tramelle’s grandmother could live in the same home with he and his brothers and be able to even look at her son, knowing that he beat her grandchildren. In one Tribune article, it stated that she used to rub cocoa butter on their burns. Nice grandma, maybe you could figure out a way to stop your grown son from burning your grandkids to begin with.

The fact that these children suffered abuse makes me very sad. Because I know that it will affect them for the rest of their lives. The 14-year-old Sturgis boy has burn marks that will be visible on his skin for the rest of his life. I can only hope that his life has improved greatly since he was taken out of the West Washington Street home. I hope he will someday be able to accept unconditional love and become a good father. I hope that one day he will able to look at those burn marks as marks of survival, pushing him to be a better person.

But let’s face it, it won’t be easy for him. He watched as his brother died that night, he had to clean up his vomit and try and cover for his father when the police came. At 14-years-old no one should have to endure what he went through. 

The boys had visits throughout the past few years from the DCFS and they always lied and said that things were ok. I don’t blame them, they were scared to death. Maybe this can be a lesson to all of us to be more observant. Children who undergo abuse are typically not trusting and know that to survive their situations, they have to go with the flow and not draw attention to themselves and their situations.

In my mind, I hope that Terry Sturgis never sees the light of day and that people in prison treat him as he treated his sons. I know it isn’t nice and I should pray that he gets the help he needs and realizes his mistakes. After all two wrongs don’t make a right. But I just can’t… instead I think about the many lives his actions have impacted and I just hope that justice is served.

No one should have to endure what Tramelle did.

Should risk drive you to your dreams? Or is playing it safe the way to go?

Most people have thought about what they would do if they won the lottery or if a distant relative passed away and left them a bunch of money.  Many of us think about what it would be like to come up with the perfect invention, a quick step into a pile of money solving all of our money worries and allowing us to follow whatever dreams we allow ourselves to envision.

And then…reality hits us.  Just like the Strokes lyrics, we take two steps forward and three steps back. We remember that insurance is important, bills need to be paid and the safe road is the one most traveled.

I watched a short segment of 60 minutes the other night. Enough to catch the reporter talking to college kids who are smart and thought they could drop out of Ivy League schools and be entrepreneurs. Hell, I can hardly spell the word! Anyway, they talked to the Mark Zuckerberg’s of the world, young people with a vision and the passion to pursue their dreams. The name Mark Zuckerberg may not mean a lot to you, but I bet the word “Facebook” does. He created facebook while still in college. Today, he is worth over 19 billion dollars and never graduated from Harvard. I’d say he was still successful despite the lack of his Harvard paper chase.

I read a book once that said that if you don’t have an idea that makes others look a little puzzled or think you are crazy when you tell you tell them about it, that it probably won’t work.  I guess it makes sense. Safe ideas are grabbed up in a minute by those who are unwilling to have the passion to believe in their mission. Zuckerberg had the knowledge and the passion.

I have a great admiration for people who are willing to take risks. I like to gamble, but when it comes to “being safe” I’m just scared enough not to take a risk that could benefit me in the end. I wish I could be one of those people. If I were, I doubt I’d be living in Indiana (although many people think I take a risk every day by living on the West side of South Bend J ha ha).  And I probably wouldn’t be working in the position I’m in.

So what about you? If you could do anything you wanted to do, anywhere you wanted to be, what would you choose?